So as the days flew by, I got closer and closer to my TASC board and AAA family, and more specifically, certain members more than others. In total, I would say I became very close to 3 people, 2 of which were a couple, and 1 was in my AAA family. We would all see each other and hang out basically every day. As we got closer, I started liking this girl in my family, but I didn't show it or let anyone know it because I'm the type of person who would want something like that to potentially ruin a good friendship that was already set in place. Plus, the fact that she was unofficial/on and off with another guy. However, after a long whiles, I caved. I told her how I felt about her, and at first she thought I was joking and threatened to hurt me if I was LMFAO. But yeah, I wasn't, and she responded saying that I already knew the situation she was in. Yeah, things weren't the same after that... We didn't talk as much nor hang out that much, and it has remained that way.
Next story. Man, today's post is all juicy info. And I guess it'll kind of make me look girl crazy =.= which as not the case =.= But I'm just postin for the heck of it.
So every year, AAA has a "fashion show" and seeing how it was my first year involved in AAA, I decided to give it a go. In the formal scene, I met this one girl when we did a rotating partners exercise, and we hit it off quite well. After some time, I found out that the girl liked me. This event probably became the biggest "drama" of my life to date. It's funny how easily I forgot about it as time passed though (one of my character flaws, but I guess it's good in some instances). This girl also had a thing for this other guy, but I was seen as the one who took her from him. Which sounds completely horrible, but that's not how it was actually. I didn't even know about "them 2". But yeah, this girl and going out with her was one of the worst decisions of my life because basically, this girl was not a good person. You would think that having 2 girlfriends before would help my decision making, but gf #3 was a badd choice.
So I have this little problem that I guess many people can relate to. I tend to find out by some way or method if someone likes me or is interested. That's not the problem though. The problem I'm referring to is: do you ever have that feeling where you don't know if you actually like someone, or like them because you know that they like you? Bam. Story of my life thus far. My past three relationships have fallen under category, meaning only my first relationship can be characterized as, in lack of a better word, "pure" intentions wise. Looking back on my relationship choices, it's clear now that my choices were severely influenced by the fact that I knew they liked me. Trust me, because I nitpick at people to see if they can be possible partners in my mind if I have any interest in them, of course this being before I know if they like me (if I were to find out). If I remember correctly, I didn't consider either of my last 3 after my "nitpicking" process. Gosh I make this sound so bad =( Don't judge me :(
Yeah I don't really understand myself either. In certain instances in my life where I found out that someone liked me, I did end up avoiding the person, or the topic when it came up. But obviously, that wasn't the case for my last 3 relationships. I don't know what it is. Is it comfort? As in, who doesn't like being liked? Or is it just settling? As in, it's the "safe thing" to go for people who like you? Saying you settled for someone is kind of mean, but honestly, who knows? That might/probably was the case for me. Then again, I do believe that people, including myself, struggle to understand their own feelings, thoughts, and/or actions.
So if you guys realize a pattern so far, it's that I find friends, get close to them, then push them away. Happened with my "roommate" freshman year. Happened with this family member sophomore year. But wait, there's more. Sophomore year isn't nearly over yet. There's this "couple" I referred to earlier in the post.
So I got really close to the guy so we decided to get an apartment together for junior year (you have to decide on apartment really early). We also decided on a trip to Taiwan Winter Break together. However, all this was before I really got to know the guy... This guy was, for lack of a better term, not a good bf to the girl, who also became a really good friend, and is still one to me. The guy is actually the primary example of the type of people I hate most in the world. I hate tools. So. Much. Tools and bad drivers are the things in the world that irritate me and piss me off the most. K not gonna go more into detail because I don't want to get angry at 1 AM LOL. But this guy actually said to the gf at the time that she has to "fight for him". LOL, like WTF? Ok, I'm done for reals. So yeah, I "got to know the real him" too late since I already got an apartment with him, so yeah, had to live with him all of junior year... and I had to go on a trip to Taiwan with him. GG.
Random thought: Funny thing, but now that I think about it, once I found about about the "tool", more tools started popping up. Yeah one of my roommates at the time was kind of a tool as well. Smart thing right? Get more angry and push away friends from the already small "friend pool" I have. Okay, now back to the story lol.
So to sum it all up, by the time Spring semester started, out of my 3 closest new friends, I basically killed my friendship with the girl in my family, and wrongly chose a friend and mistakenly got too close to him. Me and the girl in that relationship at the time stopped talking for a bit after their breakup (I got mad at both sides and stopped talking to both for different reasons, I'm weird like that). But we started talking later on, more so after my failed relationship with the formal scene girl. That's another thing I entered the Spring semester with: coming out of a terrible relationship. Although we've had (major) ups and downs in our friendship (the girl that was in the relationship), we always ended up being good friends again, which is one of the few good takeaways from my otherwise depressing life story haha xD
Haha okay, I think I'll end the post on the one "bright" spot in my gloomy post today. Btw, all of that was basically the first semester of Sophomore year if you didn't get that. Hope you guys found this post entertaining, and weren't bored from this like from my other posts. Thanks for stopping by!
:P ace
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| Muahaha I lied, ONE picture! This is your life lesson for the day. Don't be like me (the one on the right)! |
